A freelance journalist who happens to be a former student emailed these questions today (June 6) for an article he is writing for a widely circulated magazine. The title of this post is mine, not his.

If you’ve read the contents of Danny & Joy: The Wedding Special, most of the points stated here may not be new to you.

When did you sign up for a Friendster account? How did you find the site before signing up?

I signed up for Friendster in November 2003. I had already heard about it as early as 2002 but I was only coaxed by friends and colleagues to open an account and for me to “add” theirs to mine.

Upon signing up, were you open to the possibility of finding your one true love through Friendster?

No. I was actually indifferent to it, and it was only much later that I found its use in reuniting with friends, particularly my classmates in high school and in college. I also found it quite useful in keeping in touch with former students.

For you, what was the purpose of Friendster before meeting your wife?

Aside from those mentioned above, Friendster was a good venue to post announcements to my students regarding school work. I also used it to share my articles to my “first-degree” friends.

What was your reaction when you read your wife’s first Friendster message for you?

As I confessed to Joy, I was initially indifferent to her first few messages and had second thoughts about giving away my mobile phone and landline numbers. Being also fully aware of the power of the Internet to mask one’s identity to fulfill one’s agenda, she did not blame me for being wary. Our mutual suspicion was only assuaged when we actually met at UP Diliman on May 3, 2004 (coincidentally World Press Freedom Day).

During your college days, you already knew each other (perhaps, by name) due to your affiliations. Did you already entertain the idea of pursuing a relationship with her?

No. There is a possibility that we may have known each other before because she was a student leader while I was a campus journalist. Her name rings a bell, so to speak, because she might have been mentioned by our mutual friends and colleagues. It is also important to stress that she transferred from Diliman to the Miag-ao campus so it was quite impossible for whatever kind of relationship to flourish at that time.

Considering the span of time between that Friendster message and your wedding date, would you consider your love story a whilrwind romance?

Given that we met online in April 2004 and got married in December of that year, one may think that Joy and I had a whirlwind romance. But one should understand that we met when we were already 35 years old, so I would like to think that the nature of our courtship is quite different from those in their teens or 20s. Our perspective in terms of pursuing a relationship then was more long-term (e.g., getting married eventually, having children).

Were you already committed to each other when you met in May 2004?

We were already an “item” even before we met face-to-face for the first time on May 3, 2004. Our being officially “on” is an interesting story by itself: On April 30, 2004, I was on an MRT train going to Makati for my weekly radio program. I texted her to profess my love for her for the nth time and to confirm if we are “officially” in a relationship. She replied favorably via text. It was only after my radio program late in the afternoon that we had a longer conversation regarding her travel in early May, among others.

Friendster is not primarily a dating website. If there were no Friendster or other non-dating social networking websites, would you consider putting up a profile on a dating website?

Had Friendster not been in existence, I would not open an account with a dating website for the simple reason that I was not actively looking for a partner at that time. As stated, I opened a Friendster account due to the persistence of friends and colleagues who apparently have an agenda to increase their number of “first-degree” friends (i.e., the so-called race to 500). On a related note, despite the life-changing experience Joy and I had in finding each other, I would strongly advise those who have accounts in dating websites to be very careful in giving away personal information on the Net.

In your own assessment, how did the Internet reinforce your relationship?

Considering that she was then in Bicol and I was in Manila, the new media (particularly the Internet) were quite useful in keeping in touch. Email and SMS were cheap alternatives to long-distance calls which we also resorted to from time to time. Of course, communication through the new media was complemented by constant travels to see each other.

Please describe your online social life now.

I still maintain the HTML-handcoded personal website I set up in 1999. I currently have a blog (Rising Sun) and I am a member of various social networking and blog-promotion sites like MyBlogLog, BlogCatalog, BumpZee, Entrecard, BlogUpp and LinkedIn. Given my discovery of a fake Friendster account bearing my name, I decided to open a claimID account where I verified ownership of my website and blog. I also use Web 2.0 technology like Twitter to provide useful information to students and other concerned citizens. My decision to open a Flickr account may be considered belated, since I found it useful to promote not only my personal photos but also my “Funny Signs” project which essentially teaches good grammar in a light-hearted manner.

On a serious note, how can you prove that there is a social life online?

One should not make distinctions between his or her so-called virtual life and real life. Online presence must be complementary to actions in the so-called real world. I think that one who separates his or her online life from his actual life could develop an escapist attitude towards his or her life. This, of course, will be detrimental to his or her full human development.