N.B. – This was published in Asian Correspondent (August 11, 11:00 a.m.) where I write a column (Philippine Fantasy).

If you can identify non-sequitur argument, you would know what’s wrong with this sign a mile away (or a few feet away, depending on your eyesight).

This sign reminds me of an old Filipino joke “Huwag maingay. May naglalaba (Be quiet. Someone’s doing the laundry).” Indeed, one doesn’t follow the other.

There’s nothing wrong with the sign beside it, but don’t you think this is better placed in Congress?

The loose English translation of this sign is “garbage not allowed here.” Why Congress, you ask? Garbage could mean anything (and anybody)!

If the term’s meaning could mean something else, does the same case apply to the word “bottomless”?

In English, the sign reads: “Let’s make our happiness bottomless.” This is an advertisement for a popular iced tea in the Philippines. In Filipino English, the word “bottomless” is synonymous with “unlimited.” A bottomless drink offered in a Filipino restaurant, therefore, means that you can get a refill as many times as your bladder allows. A Filipino may not find the sign above funny, but I’m sure non-Filipinos will find it a bit off, if not amusing. Well, who can blame them?

I’m not sure if many Filipinos know the shortened terms for manicure and pedicure. If they don’t, then this sign could be somewhat funny.

If you’re familiar with the Filipino language, you would know that the word “mani” means peanuts in English. A colloquial, adult-oriented meaning of “mani” is female genitalia. So if you’re green-minded (not of the environmental kind), you would think of something else after reading a sign that sells a service called “mani.”

As regards our next sign, notice that there are three photographed items above.

What does the sign say? Let’s take a closer look.

The loose English translation of this is “Appliance? It’s simple.” This is an advertisement for a bank loan. If you want to be consistent, the word “appliances” should have been used. This is just my opinion, of course, as the sign-maker could argue that he or she refers to an appliance loan.

But whichever way you look at our next sign, this is absolutely wrong and it’s not just a matter of opinion.

As I noted in a previous post, the correct term is “every day.”

For our last sign, the mistake is not easily noticeable. On the surface, one may even credit the sign-maker for being creative.

As you know, a buffet is a system of providing meals where the guests serve themselves. Buffet could also refer to a piece of furniture that has shelves and drawers, normally located at a dining room. The use of the word “buffet” in the context of fashion may be creative, but is there something new to what is being advertised? Isn’t it a given that you have to try on the clothes you want to buy to make sure that they properly fit? What’s the use of advertising “fit all you can” when in fact you’re supposed to be doing it?

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!