A student from the University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman emailed some questions about election coverage in the new media. Allow me to share with you my short answers.

What are the major challenges in doing online coverage of the elections?

Online journalism is said to have the “permanence of print and the immediacy of broadcast.” Convergence, however, is not just limited to relative permanence or immediacy. It also has to do with combining various kinds of media texts and hypertexts (i.e., words, hyperlinks, images, streaming audio and video).

Just like the coverage of other issues, election coverage through the new media requires the immediate uploading of media texts without compromising the highest professional and ethical standards of journalism.

At the same time, the online publication should maximize social media to promote its contents. The uploading of media texts, after all, does not guarantee the immediate sharing of information.

How is it different from the coverage of traditional media (i.e. print and broadcast media)?

Unlike in the so-called traditional media, online publications do not have deadlines in the strictest sense of the word. Articles and other forms of media texts (e.g., photographs, video files) are uploaded as soon as they are ready. It is therefore possible for an online publication to have various “banner headlines” in one day. In the same way, an article could be updated several times especially in the case of breaking stories where new developments happen, say, every hour.

In the new media, feedback from audiences is made more expedient. Despite the moderation of comments in many online publications, the feedback is still relatively faster in terms of its publication.

What ethical issues are usually encountered in election coverage?

Given the nature of the new media, the temptation to immediately upload unverified information remains. Those who don’t have a firm grasp of journalism ethics argue that this practice is acceptable since the initially wrong information could be corrected anyway. This is obviously wrong because online visitors would be led to think that the unverified information is true.

Notwithstanding the nature of the new media, the professional and ethical standards should remain the same, and should remain high. It is unthinkable and unacceptable for anybody to adjust (read: lower) the high standards of journalism to justify the immediate uploading of information, even if unverified.

The convenience of taking photographs or footage could also make an online journalist forget the need to strike a balance between the public’s right to know and an individual’s right to privacy, especially in the cases of rape victims and juvenile delinquents.

Though the two cases rarely crop up during elections, photographs and footage of election-related violence should be treated with utmost care to ensure that the dead are properly given respect and what is presetned to the public is in “good taste.” This is the reason some crime scenes are pixelized (or rendered in black and white) to ensure that the sensibilities of audiences are not affected, especially the children who are watching.

How are these issues connected to the nature of the medium?

Technology makes it easy for people to publish online. A content management system (CMS) like WordPress, for example, makes it easy for anybody to put up an online publication or a personal blog. Notwithstanding the high cost of gadgets, there are many user-friendly, high-resolution digital cameras that can take quality photographs and footage which could be shared online even without the use of an Internet-connected computer. One can even argue that a high-technology cellphone which has a built-in video camera is more than enough for a blogger or journalist to take pictures or footage.

Are there any landmark ethical issues that occurred during this year’s elections, particularly in online media?

It’s hard to define “landmark,” but a blogger-supporter of a presidential candidate was removed from a newly-established Asian news website after the latter got complaints due to his irresponsible articles. This blogger became notorious not only for ungrammatical writing but also for engaging in character assassination. Incidentally, his favorite target during the election campaign was the leading presidential candidate. He took a leave of absence for a while but he is now back blogging in his old, irresponsible style. I’m sorry if I refuse to identify him as I might end up giving him the popularity he doesn’t deserve.

Were they resolved? If yes, how? If no, what would be the best course of action?

His being removed from an Asian news website did not prevent him from setting up not just one but several blogs. He still engages in maligning his pet peeves, though I noticed that he has gone soft lately on President Noynoy Aquino. For me, the best course of action is to ignore him publicly and to use his blog entries as case studies in media ethics, particularly on how NOT to blog.

Why do you think they occur?

The answer is simple: There are a few bloggers who don’t know the responsibility that goes with sharing information in the public domain, which is what cyberspace is (whether we like it or not).

What should online media practitioners work on to overcome such ethical issues?

They should be more conscious of the consequences of their actions, particularly the harm they would do to audiences if they give wrong or unverified information. I think a good start is to read and understand A Bloggers’ Code of Ethics.

What’s the effect of dropping a character to emphasize the X’s?

Not bad, right? The desired effect is there as the public is obviously made aware of the intentional misspelling.

But what happens if a popular mall in the Philippines boasts of what you can xperience when you xplore the area to check out an xhibit? Will you xpress your xcitement and xihilaration?

Maybe it’s just me, but people may get the impression that the first characters have been blown away by the typhoons past.

For our next sign, pay close attention to the honest mistake.

Even if you already know what’s wrong with this sign, let’s take a closer look just to be sure.

There’s a lesson to be learned here: Don’t assure safety if you can’t assume responsibility.

Before we end, let me ask you: For what do you use this straw?

The sign above is obviously correct. But if it is a straw for drinking, the product below is a straw for…

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

A student from the University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman emailed a few questions about my involvement with the community press. Below are my answers.

What community presses have you been affiliated with? What positions did you occupy?

If we loosely define “community press” as media organizations that cater mainly to a defined area and therefore has a defined audience, my affiliation with the so-called community press started as early as college in the late 1980s: I was a reporter for the Philippine Collegian, official student publication of the University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman, where I eventually became its news editor.

Contrary to the popular notion that my “Konteksto” (Context) column started with Pinoy Weekly, it actually started in 2004 with the defunct community-based tabloid Alam ng Cagayan Valley which is based in Tuguegarao City. This publication did not last long.

In 2006, I decided to revive “Konteksto” when I was offered to write more regularly for Pinoy Weekly, which is technically not community-based given its broader Filipino audience in the country and abroad.

What sets a community press apart from a local newspaper or other forms of media?

A local newspaper is part of the community press. Strictly speaking, the word “press” refers to the print media, particularly newspapers and magazines. Through the years, however, “press” has become synonymous with “media” and therefore includes not only print but also broadcast and new media. This would explain why a journalist’s identification card is now usually called “press ID.”

What is the structure of the editorial staff of a community press? Does it differ from the editorial staff of newspapers/magazines?

Just like other media organizations, the community press has a defined hierarchy of publishers, editors, writers, photographers, graphic designers and layout artists, among other positions. Low-budget media organizations in communities, however, normally have journalists who take on various tasks. It’s not surprising to encounter community-based print publications that have only one or two people who do all the work.

How are the issues released? Are there any routine tasks you need to perform every day for that particular newspaper?

From my experience at the Philippine Collegian, the weekly issues were always on time as the work had a defined system. Despite our heavy academic load and other extra-curricular activities, most of the editors and staff were very committed to see an issue through and normally went the “extra mile,” so to speak, to make sure that certain tasks were done. Brownouts, computer breakdowns and other technical problems sometimes happened but these were not used as convenient excuses not to finish the job.

What makes working for a community press different from working for a commercial newspaper/publication?

Those who work for the community press, provided the media organization is not commercial in character, do so out of serious commitment instead of mere employment. They use their journalistic skills and knowledge to inform their community, without expecting to be compensated for their services.

What are the usual  problems encountered in the production of the newspaper?

Financial constraints normally plague the community press and this is primarily the reason many community-based publications come and go.

Being a “community press,” what role does the community perform in the production process?

The community residents do not only serve as audience of a community-based media organization. They are actually mobilized to provide leads with regard to issues that must be covered. Skills training may also be conducted in communities so that residents would eventually become part of the community-based media organization.

Is there any advantage in particular that made you enjoy working for a community press?

Editing and writing for the community press gave me the opportunity to deeply analyze social reality. My interaction with different kinds of people deepened my social consciousness. For me, journalism becomes not a career that one must develop but a commitment that one must pursue.

I should start with an apology for being 24 hours late in uploading this installment of funny signs. As you may already know by now, a typhoon hit the Philippines last Tuesday (July 13) resulting in a brownout late that night that hit much of Luzon (one of three island groups in the country, the other two being Visayas and Mindanao).

Marikina City (where my wife and I live) was also hit hard by the typhoon even if Metro Manila was only under Signal Number 1. There were reports of trees, billboards and signs falling due to the strong wind.

Obviously, the wind was not strong enough to add another “s” to this sign.

The province of Quezon was also affected by the typhoon. I wonder if this sign is still standing. Notice what’s wrong with it?

Let’s talk a closer look.

Since this bank is apparently service-oriented, I would like to give this free editorial advice: Please use “microfinance-oriented” instead.

This next sign is a case of “inappropriate abbreviation,” if you get what I mean.

It’s better to just spell out “Pls” because there’s enough space for three more characters in the first line anyway.

For our next sign, we have a case of a “misused hyphen,” and this time you know what I mean.

By this time, you should know the case of a “missing space.”

What about awkward diction? Can you see the wrong word used in the sign below?

Strictly speaking, the word “finds” refers to “a discovery, esp. a valuable or gratifying one.” Not surprisingly, the word is normally used for items found during the digging of trenches or from field-walking, as in the case of an archeological discovery. In the context of fashion, I’m not sure if there’s something to be discovered as most of the fashion-related items are advertised.

When I took a light rail transit (LRT) train to go to a meeting in Makati last July 5, I saw this sign. Did the typhoon blow this away? I hope so.

There’s nothing grammatically wrong with it, but why did the LRT management post this very obvious sign? Spitting in a public place is obviously a sign of bad manners and Filipinos do not need to be reminded of that. If the LRT managers want, they could come up with a rule imposing fines on those caught spitting and remind passengers of that through a sign. But if they prefer to have signs like “No spitting,” they mind as well write the “apparently obvious” (what redundancy!) at LRT stations also:

• Trains don’t arrive on time. Be patient.
• Don’t use your credit card as a train ticket
• Use only Philippine currency
• Speak only in English or Filipino

I also saw this sign at an LRT station.

Loose translation? “Littering is prohibited. Put in the garbage can.” This is a case of awkward sentence construction in Filipino. To remove the awkwardness and provide some politeness, it should read: “Pakilagay sa basurahan ang inyong basura.” Its loose translation is “Please put in the garbage can your garbage.”

For our next sign, we obviously don’t need any translation. Then again, you may want to ask…

…what is the nature of our concern? By the way, is this sign addressed to all passengers or just the janitors?

For our last sign, I am happy to tell you that there are efforts by a few establishments to correct any misspelling.

Notice the deleted “d” at the end? I thank my sister-in-law Francia for this picture, even if she took it at the time when the sign has been corrected.

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

How can one prove that the culture of impunity still exists in the Philippines? Consider this: Five killings of activists in seven days, the first one on the fifth day of the new administration.

Benigno Aquino III assumed the presidency armed with a promise that he will put a stop to the killings. Less than two weeks before he was sworn in as the 15th President of the Philippines, Edwin Lacierda (who eventually became Presidential Spokesperson) said, “(Aquino’s) family has been a victim of human rights violation so it’s natural for him to ensure that the rights of everyone, especially the members of the media.”

Aquino’s promise of a “serious pursuit of justice” was done in the wake of media killings last month which left a carnage of three dead in just five days. In a statement, 32 professors, 14 staff, the college student council and 14 college-based student organizations of the University of the Philippines College of Mass Communication (UP CMC) made this analysis: “That three journalists were killed in one week is by itself sufficient evidence that the outgoing Macapagal-Arroyo administration has utterly failed to provide an atmosphere conducive to a free press. Even if there is no evidence to prove that any high-ranking government official actually pulled the trigger and consequently killed journalists Desidario Camangyan (June 14), Joselito Agustin (June 15) and Nestor Bedolido (June 19), the Macapagal-Arroyo administration remains accountable for the killings since 2001.” (Disclosure: The author is a signatory to the statement.)

As regards the recently slain activists, the culture of impunity is also apparent due to the brazen manner in which the murders were carried out.

According to a news report, “A lone gunman repeatedly shot (Fernando) Baldomero, (61), early morning of July 5 in front of his residence in the capital town of Kalibo in Aklan as he was about to take his 12-year-old son to school. The gunman fled on board a motorcycle driven by an accomplice.”

The same case applies to the second murder that happened last July 9, as a report states, “Pascual Guevarra, 78, head of the local Agrarian Reform Beneficiaries Association (Arba) and Alyansa ng mga Magbubukid na Nagkakaisa 3100 (Almana 3100), died from bullet wounds in the chest.His grandson, Ronnel Viloria, 18, tried to help his grandfather but the gunman shot and wounded him, said Senior Insp. Almario Evaristo, the town police chief.”

Preliminary reports from reliable sources on the murder of the third activist show the same pattern: “On July 9, armed bonnet-wearing men killed Mark Francisco, (27), of ACT Teachers Partylist in Sitio Umawas, Brgy. Malabas, Palanas, Masbate.”

According to another news report, Francisco was not the only supporter of ACT Teachers Partylist who died on that day: “Edgar Fernandez, 44, another public school teacher from Barangay Central, Masbate City, Masbate, was shot dead by unidentified men on his way home…Fernandez and a co-teacher, both riding a motorcycle, were fired at by an unidentified man. Fernandez died immediately but his co-teacher survived with a bullet wound.”

And just last July 12, Josephine Estacio, 42, another member of ACT Teachers Partylist, was killed. According to a preliminary report, “(U)nidentified motorcycle-riding men shot dead…Estacio…shortly before the start of classes in Tenejero Elementary School. (She) died on the spot after she was shot at 6:45 a.m. in Tenejero village in Balanga City in Bataan.

Baldomero was provincial chair of Bayan Muna (People First) Partylist in Aklan. Guevarra, on the other hand, was chair of the Agrarian Reform Beneficiaries Association and Alyansa ng mga Magbubukid na Nagkakaisa 3100 (Almana 3100) and worked closely with the Kilusang Magbubukid ng Pilipinas (KMP, Peasant Movement of the Philippines). Francisco, Fernandez and Estacio, meanwhile, were affiliated with ACT Teachers Partylist which won a seat in Congress, just like Bayan Muna and AnakPawis (Toiling Masses), the latter being supported by the KMP.

As if the five murders were not enough, there was also news that a journalist was “wounded when two unidentified men shot him in Nabua, Camarines Sur” last July 9. The report continues: “Miguel Belen, 48, was shot by two unidentified gunmen in Barangay San Jose at around 8:45 p.m…The victim was on a motorcycle and was tailed by his attackers, who were also riding a motorcycle…Belen was returning home from work as a field reporter of the dwEB-FM radio station of Filipinas Broadcasting Network based in Nabua. The shooting took place in a secluded part of San Jose, just three kilometers from the town proper…Belen sustained gunshot wounds in the neck and torso and remained in critical condition at the Doña Josefa Hospital in nearby Iriga City.”

Belen’s case highlights the fact that media killings are indeed the highest form of censorship in the country. In the same vein, the killings of activists serve as a way to permanently silence dissent. For the journalists and activists left behind, the murders provide a chilling effect and give a stark reminder of what would happen if they continue to be critical of the powers-that-be.

It is ironic that the murders continue and that the mayhem persists. To quote from the UP CMC statement, there is indeed a need to be vigilant of the future as “the culture of impunity knows no administrations as the violence knows no bounds.”

Detecting a misspelling is easy.

Knowing when to use an adverb is harder.

Clearly, something is out of service temporarily.

For our next sign, there’s actually nothing wrong though the phrasing is somewhat awkward, even this is already widely accepted.

The word “times” refers to a more or less definite period of time now or previously present. If you want to use it in a sentence, you may refer to Charles Dickens: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” If you want to be more precise in announcing what time your business opens and closes, just use the standard: “Business Hours”

As regards our next sign, please read the sign’s first three lines.

Now let’s focus on the problematic phrase.

“First and foremost” is redundant because both mean the same thing. If you want to use just one word to substitute for this redundant phrase, you could use “primarily” or “mainly.” Needless to say, “first and foremost” should be avoided, along with other redundant phrases like “cease and desist” and “part and parcel.”

But the focus of this “funny signs” installment is the use of prepositions. Now that you have a clue, would you know what’s wrong with our next sign?

Let’s take a closer look if you still can’t find the mistake.

The establishment being advertised is located on the ground floor, in the same way that a house is located on a particular street. The floor of a building has many establishments, so the preposition at cannot be used due to the lack of a more precise location.

By this time, you should know what’s wrong with the next sign, taken inside a popular mall in Quezon City.

For our next sign, there’s nothing wrong with the preposition. It’s the pronoun that’s problematic.

Again, let’s take a closer look at the sign.

Still can’t find the error? Let’s zoom in once more.

Since the word “gifts” is used, the pronoun should be “them,” not “it” as written. Yes, knowing the proper pronoun is as hard as determining the right preposition.

Anyway, grammar lessons are over. More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

A student from the Ateneo de Manila University asked me 10 questions on media coverage in war-torn areas. Please find below my answers.

What is the importance of media coverage in war-torn areas?

Aside from providing the necessary information to the public, media could serve as a deterrent to abuses that are wont to be committed by groups that are at war. Theoretically, non-combatants are assured of their safety and prisoners of war (POWs) are treated more humanely if the parties concerned are made aware of media’s presence.

What are the roles fulfilled by war journalists?

At a time of war, journalists should still practice accuracy, objectivity and fairness in their reportage. They should, at the same time, exercise extreme caution in going about their work. In particular, they should know when to pull out if ever the situation becomes too volatile or the group they are covering suddenly becomes extremely hostile to their presence. They should remember the age-old saying in journalism that “no story is worth dying for.”

Do you think media coverage in such areas should be restricted? Why?

Restrictions in media coverage are acceptable only if the authorities and journalists agree that media presence could jeopardize an operation and unnecessarily endanger the lives of combatants and non-combatants. Despite their duty to cover the war, journalists cannot allow themselves to be part of the news, as in the case of ending up, albeit unwittingly, as “human shields” or, most likely willingly, as “negotiators” during a standoff, for instance.

Do you think censorship conceals the truth? How come?

Censorship is unacceptable even if media organizations should maintain the highest professional and ethical standards. The truth should be reported, keeping in mind that journalists must remain critical of the official statements they get. They must always compare what they get from sources with what they observe on the ground.

Is it the public’s right to be able to view the reallity of the war through media? Why?

The public has the right to be informed, especially during a time of war. It is understandable for media organizations to sometimes fail in the delivery of news due to circumstances beyond their control. But they should try their best to get their message across, even if delayed.

How is society affected by the media coverage of war?

Media play a pivotal role in the public’s perception of the war, which is why they should be able to explain the context in a manner that is comprehensive and understandable. They cannot afford to give a “sports-like” coverage of the war where people become preoccupied with “who’s winning” and the “latest score” of casualties and injuries.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of media coverage in war-torn areas?

I cannot think of any disadvantages of media coverage in war-torn areas given media’s role in the shaping of public opinion. Media, in this context, should be allowed to fulfill their obligation to the people.

How can the release of graphic images in war be an eye-opener to society?

Images and footage of war provide evidence of what is being claimed and may also be used to expose the lies of so-called spin doctors who have their own agenda in projecting the war to suit certain interests.

What do journalists get from covering the news in times of conflict?

Journalists get the opportunity to fulfill their obligation in providing timely and relevant information. They put their lives on the line just to ensure that the people know what they need to know.

How can journalists become unbiased and professional toward the issue they are reporting?

Journalists need to have a firm grasp of the professional and ethical standards. They could get it through extensive training, meticulous reading and intensive practice.

Benigno Simeon Aquino III takes over as president of the Philippines today (June 30). As expected, Filipinos have high expectations that change would finally take place.

To send a clear message that he is different from his predecessor Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo whose administration was tainted with numerous scandals and controversies, his media handlers this early decided to endear him to the public by promoting the moniker P.Noy. The latter is short for President Noynoy (Aquino’s nickname) and it could also be interpreted as a pun for “Pinoy” which is slang for male Filipino citizen (a female one is referred to as “Pinay”).

It remains to be seen whether the message of hope will be effectively conveyed to the people. At this point, one can only wish that Aquino’s message won’t be repetitive.

You’re not just stating the obvious if you end up repeating what you said. You might end up being defensive.

Then again, the message should be clear and clean. Aquino’s message could be just like a massage.

Taken somewhere in Malate, Manila (parts of which became notorious as a “red light” district in the past), the business owner saw the need to tell prospective clients that only a massage is given, nothing more (if you get what I mean).

Directness is indeed important, aside from good grammar. That the president of De La Salle University (DLSU), one of the top schools in the country, has been appointed secretary of the Department of Education gives some hope that, at the very least, the signs at the DepEnd would be more grammatical.

I took the picture below at La Salle Green Hills last June 10 when I gave a journalism seminar to selected teachers and administrative staff.

Except for the need to capitalize the letter O in “only,” I cannot find anything wrong with the sign which sends clearly the intended message during the strong typhoon which hit the Philippines in 2009.

Our other sign below, taken in a popular resort in Palawan, also sends a strong message even if it’s inverted.

Yes, people should learn how to read upside down.

Going back to Aquino’s message of hope, I think his anti-corruption campaign should be direct. People should not be made to read between the lines.

Analyze this sign I took at a university in Isabela where I conducted a summer workshop for its teachers last May 28.

What’s that again? Do you understand the call to action?

Fix the fixers? From what I know, you only fix equipment that are broken. It’s awkward to say that you want to fix a person. By the way, you should also know that another definition of fix is to “get even.” Is this what we want to do with fixers?

If you want to maintain the alliteration in the sign, the message should read: “Fight the fixers.”

Or if you want your message to somewhat rhyme, you might consider this: “Nix the fixers.” Then again, the word “nix” which means reject may be a bit hard to understand.

One could learn a thing or two about the directness of messages of traffic signs at the University of the Philippines (UP) where I currently teach. Of course, there are some weaknesses.

As regards the sign above, the phrase “construction work” would suffice so we could drop the “s” already. My preference, however, is to change the phrase to “ongoing construction.”

Of course, the message could be more effective if a specific timeframe were included. Up to when is the particular gate closed? The only thing the sign says is that the gate has been closed since June 10.

But even if specific times are indicated in the sign, one should not confuse motorists because of the wrong font size.

It would be better to make the font for “OPEN” smaller so that it doesn’t compete with the “NO ENTRY” warning. Besides, the times below has a smaller font and it’s not as if a motorist can read them from afar.

When I was in Indonesia, I noticed this sign at the departure area of the airport. Do you notice what’s wrong with this?

There’s nothing ungrammatical here, but the second sentence is unnecessary because it’s already stating the obvious. The green-minded would even think of other things that a passenger should “use” before boarding the plane.

In my last travel to Vietnam in 2008, I noticed this sign inside the store.

I wonder why the letter A is capitalized while the letter P is not. To the credit of the sign-maker, at least the word “stock” is used as a collective noun.

I don’t think the Vietnamese manufacturer should be blamed for the brand of cigarette it sells.

For those who don’t understand the Filipino language, “bastos” means indecent or uncouth. I therefore doubt if President Aquino would smoke this kind of cigarette.

Going back to the moniker P.Noy, the name really makes a difference promoting a good image. In this respect, the Aquino administration is on the right track.

I can’t say the same though for a community group that meant well in the past to organize a dance club. What’s the name of the group?

Yes, you’re cursed if you have a name that means “idiot.”

I guess that’s one of the many challenges of the Aquino administration: How do you avoid people from calling the President names like Abnoynoy (i.e., Abnoy is Filipino slang for abnormal). Of course, the practical answer there is to do well and fulfill the promise of meaningful change in the next six years.

That’s all for now. More funny signs next week!

Hiring women does not necessarily make an employer gender-sensitive. Take the case of the outgoing Macapagal-Arroyo administration. It apparently has a tendency to hire women for the wrong reasons, at least based on a recent policy pronouncement.

Despite past recommendations from some legislators that the Macapagal-Arroyo administration refrain from giving “unsolicited advice” to the incoming Aquino administration, outgoing Presidential Adviser on the Peace Process Anabelle Abaya gave another one.

She said that the peace talks with rebel groups would progress better if women were included in the negotiations. “I hope that in all panels—the MILF [Moro Islamic Liberation Front] or the CPP-NPA [Communist Party of the Philippines-New People's Army]—[the government] will at least have two women, not one but two women, because women change the dynamics of negotiation,” Abaya said.

On the surface, there seems to be nothing wrong with the suggestion. One may even argue that it’s gender-sensitive because of “women representation” in the peace talks.

But the sexism becomes apparent as one hears Abaya’s explanation: “When people are talking about rationale, you cannot forget the emotional aspect… Although people do not want to put that on the table, the reality is people think because of what they feel. So it is the women who are more comfortable with this aspect of negotiation.”

The statement may not be directly offensive to women, but it does a disservice to gender equality because subjective actuations become gender-defined. What is the basis for arguing that a particular gender is better at controlling emotions?

If women were to be included in the peace talks, it should be based on their capacity to negotiate. Panel members should also be persuasive in a manner that is not offensive. Much as there are women who are good at controlling emotions as Abaya said, there are also men who could be equal to the task. In other words, membership in the peace negotiations cannot be based primarily on gender.

When incoming President Benigno Aquino III announced that Teresita “Ging” Deles would be his peace adviser, it was apparently based not on her being a woman. Her credentials are publicly known: She held that position under the Macapagal-Arroyo administration although she resigned in 2005.

Abaya’s sexist recommendation is no different from outgoing Press Secretary Rogelio Peyuan’s recommendation in May that incoming President Benigno Aquino III choose cabinet officials who are cute, always smiling and fragrant. “Ang mungkahi natin ay mamili ng medyo cute na mga makakasama sa kapaligiran. Nakangiti, medyo maayos ang amoy at hindi pa amoy lupa at malapit na magpaalam (loose translation: Our suggestion is that he choose the slightly cute ones to be around him. They should also be smiling, and smell quite nice and not smell as if they already have one foot in the grave,” he said.

Peyuan added that the fate of the nation depends on the President’s mood every morning. “Ito ay magiging depende hindi sa paggising ng Pangulo kundi depende sa kanyang matatanaw pag dilat ng mata at depende din sa amoy ng hininga ng makakausap niya (loose translation: It depends not on his waking up but on what he sees when he wakes up in the morning and it also depends on the smell of the breath of whoever he talks to).”

Abaya’s recommendation is obviously no different from Peyuan although the former is only sexist while the latter is so replete with logical fallacies one does not know where to start.

With such kind of mindset among officials, no wonder there are many Filipinos looking forward to the inauguration of the new President on June 30. This means that after nine years, the Macapagal-Arroyo administration comes to an end, and along with it comes an end to the stupidity of polity characterized by the mediocrity of policy.

Let’s start with a rumor. Former US Vice President Al Gore now resides in Manila! My wife jokingly said this when she asked me to read this sign at the entrance of a popular mall.

I know it’s not your usual “funny sign” but the joke is there, right? It took me a while to get it though. By the way, Al Gore wasn’t in Manila for a concert. Right now, he’s not just a former White House official but also a global environmentalist.

A photo developing center somewhere in Malate, Manila has something in common with Al Gore because it is not just…

Is it just me, or is the owner guilty of stealth advertising? Anyway, Adobe should be thankful for the (free?) advertisement.

Talking about the marketing of goods, it would help owners to refrain from using “new arrival” or “new arrivals” when promoting their new products.

Why? Arrival is defined as “the act of arriving” or “the accomplishment of an objective.” That is why you have an “arrival area” at airports for arriving passengers. Going back to our funny sign, the sign should read: “New items” or “New products” if you want to be more direct.

In order to know the minor mistake in our next sign, you should be eagle-eyed.

Yes, we want to be born free in a society that is, among others, nuclear-free and smoke-free. Or, in the case of the Philippines, Gloria-free! As you may already know from your English grammar lessons, the adjectival use of compound words usually requires the use of a hyphen.

For our next sign, there’s actually nothing grammatically wrong with it. It just sends a confusing message.

Again, if you want to be more direct, just use this phrasing: “We use purified water.” As it is, the sign above gives the impression that whoever serves the drinks always brings with him or her purified water. Remember the cardinal rule in restaurant management: Always serve with pleasure, not with water.

Unlike the previous one, our next sign is very direct in its message. The buffet is only for paying customers who do not share their food. What happens if you do?

What? You will be charged double, and in addition to that there will be left-overs thrown at you? Oh, wait. The sign should read: “We charge double if your plate has left-overs.” An alternative sign could be: “No left-overs please or you will pay double.”

You know that just like other countries in Asia, the Philippines is a rice-eating country. That would explain why we have so many kinds of rice to choose from. It’s ironic, however, that the Philippines has become a rice-importing country. Is it safe to assume that this rice comes from Japan?

Whether or not it comes from Japan, it cannot be denied that a popular fastfood chain that serves Japanese food has this sign to promote the unlimited supply of rice for customers’ chosen meals.

This is clearly an example of pun, without making “pun” of Filipinos. In case you’re not familiar with the Filipino language, “kanin” means cooked rice. The use of the hyphen is obviously aimed to highlight the pun.

As regards our next sign, the one responsible for it should try to review the proper use of prepositions.

What’s that again? The food you bought outside cannot be brought in into the restaurant? Why not just have a sign that reads: “Food and drinks bought outside the restaurant not allowed.”

Our next sign delivers a clear message, even if it ends up using a non-existent word.

Is there such a thing as left-by? Is it related to right-of? Or maybe its parents are top-in and bottom-out? This word reminds me of another word in Filipino English: BOTTOMLESS!

At this point, allow me to put to a close our installment of “funny signs.” Sorry, we’re closed.

Yes, I mean it. We’re already closed.

If you’re Al Gore, I know you but you definitely don’t know me. In other words, we’re not close!

Goodbye and come back for more funny signs next week.