The verdict is in and the signs are there.

The latest survey from the Social Weather Stations (SWS) shows that 62 percent of Filipinos are dissatisfied with Philippine President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s performance. She has consistently received a negative net satisfaction rating since the third quarter of 2004, making her the most unpopular President since 1986 based on SWS data.

Note: Past Presidents are Corazon Aquino (1986-1992; deceased), Fidel Ramos (1992-1998) and Joseph Estrada (1998-2001).

The powers-that-be can always argue that governance is not a popularity contest, since unpopular measures have to be implemented for the good of the people. Then again, the people’s wrath comes not from these so-called unpopular measures but the culture of impunity and shamelessness that goes with wielding political power.

What good, for example, does lavish dining last July of the President and her entourage in the United States give to poor Filipinos who could barely eat three meals a day? Is it really necessary for a government agency to ostentatiously celebrate its anniversary early this October at a time when 80 percent of Metro Manila was submerged in waters as high as six meters due to Typhoon Ondoy (Ketsana)?

The worst of times indeed brings out the best in Filipinos. When Martial Law was imposed from 1972 to 1986, journalism and the arts flourished as writers and artists creatively expressed their dissent as they tried to help in the shaping of public opinion.

In the age of both Gloria and the Digital Media, Filipino artists have used the Internet (and, for that matter, image editing software) to freely share their works not only to elicit chuckles from the disillusioned but to also to remind people of the grim reality in the country. Carlo Barrameda, a young Filipino artist, gave me permission to feature some of his works that are already making the rounds of the Internet. His caricatures of Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo are not only funny. They also have deep political meaning.

In reference to a popular Wonder Girls song (Nobody), the artist attempts to make the President look “cute” but at the same time strip her of the power that goes with being the head of government. And why is there a growing perception that she should be removed from office?

She has joined the dark side, that’s why! One could argue that the reference to Yoda is by virtue of her intelligence (she has a PhD in Economics, among other credentials). Then again, it could just be due to her height. Now, what makes many Filipinos think that she has joined the dark side?

There was much controversy over the expensive dinners at Le Cirque ($20,000) and Bobby Van’s Steakhouse ($15,000) in the United States last July. Many Filipinos now wonder just how much food a (presidential) stomach can take before she bursts into a hulk of incredible greed.

As a result of this negative perception (as proven by surveys past and present from credible polling organizations in the Philippines), every little decision made by the administration becomes suspect. People have become jaded observers of reality, always skeptical of whatever decisions government makes.

Translation: THE STATE OF CALAMITY SHOULD BE…ONE YEAARRRRRR!!!

Yes, Gloria appears to be a green monster gone berserk, an obvious reference to the culture of impunity in Philippine society.

Under “normal” circumstances, Filipinos should have no objection to declaring a state of calamity in the wake of destructive typhoons that hit the country recently. In theory, this declaration is necessary for the expeditious release of funds for relief and rehabilitation of affected areas like Metro Manila. But for many Filipinos, a one-year state of calamity translates to a one-year opportunity for graft and corruption.

And so, one cannot be blamed if calls for her ouster have been made since 2002. She now has a few months left in office as national and local elections are scheduled in May 2010. But there are speculations that she might run as a representative of the second district of Pampanga to have a seat in the House of Representatives (HOR). If elected into office, she would run as House Speaker and ensure the change in the form of government from presidential to parliamentary by changing the Constitution. Once the parliamentary form of government is in place, guess who becomes the Prime Minister?

Is this a fantasy, a mere product of an imaginative mind or, worst, a conspiracy theorist? Not so, going by past attempts to change the 1987 Constitution, and the President’s countless visits to the second district of Pampanga where she is a registered voter.

In these trying times, we need such works of art to remind us of the need to stop the fantasy and to change the reality. How soon her reign ends depends not on her decisions but the people’s actions.

A former student of mine, Bianca Consunji, emailed a few months ago 38 pictures of funny signs. Some of them have been used in previous posts, and there are a few that have been circulated in e-groups.

For this installment, allow me to present what I would call the 12 cardinal rules for sign-making (read: “funny sign-unmaking”).

Our first sign makes me re-read and deconstruct the message several times. Is there something profound about the latent content and the intended message?

Rule 1: If you want a person to enter, make sure he or she knows where to go.

Ever heard of “conditional” entrance?

Rule 2: It’s okay to impose conditions, but be careful with your syntax. What happens, for example, to a hopelessly obedient but seriously “wet” person who needs to go to the bathroom?

This is another conditional entrance, where you should leave your worries (and your slippers) behind!

Rule 3: Be prepared for excuses that erring customers might use (e.g., “Sorry, my slippers can’t understand your English!”)

Once you’ve made your melodramatic (and problematic) entrance, you should know the “followed-to-be” rules!

Rule 4: Don’t let the Secretary of Justice make a sign for you!

Despite your headache over the horrendous grammar (especially of some government officials), you should always be on your toes and not fall for catchy slogans (and I’m not just referring to government claims of progress!).

Rule 5: Be wary of what the people should watch out for! Is it the potentially falling, or the already fallen?

There are also signs that are very, very hard to “digest.”

Rule 6: When it comes to bad grammar, don’t expect people to just “grin and bear it.” Or, in this particular case, “bite the bullet.”

Care to buy a pair of pants with jagged edges?

Rule 7: If you’re selling, know your spelling! A pair of pants, incidentally, can be “jagged” if they’re unevenly cut.

But enough of the seriousness. Let’s go back to “recklessness.” Can you buy a shirt that matches your “taste?”

Rule 8: Use the adjective “sweet” mainly for things that are edible (sweet lover is obviously an exception, do you agree?). Otherwise your customers will become sour and bitter!

Aside from that, they might feel miserable. But if it’s any consolation…

Rule 9: Unless you’re a government official, don’t convince people that misery is an acceptable reality.

Yes, don’t be in a state of denial. Keep away from people who ask you to smile despite the abject poverty our country is facing. Fight for your space! Avoid swerving! In other words…

Rule 10: The correct spelling of a word is not necessarily its pronunciation.

Indeed, these signs are very much unwanted. The one below, however, is a bit peculiar because the “wanted” is the one that’s unwanted. Huh?

Rule 11: In writing signs (funny or otherwise), be sure to use the present or future tense. What’s the point, after all, of living in the past? (If you “want” somebody, go for it!)

What’s the best way to end this installment of funny signs? An ungrammatical one, of course (and in Filipino at that!).

Rule 12: Even if you know your grammar, try not to let the people get away with what’s prohibited.

I promise to provide more funny signs in the next few days. At this time, we have Bianca to thank for this installment. All the best (and worst funny signs)!

I don’t need to tell you where I got this sign, right?

My “funny signs” instinct got the better of me, so I read the other signs at the “eloping” center and noticed this most-often-but-ungrammatical use of the word layout.

Notice what’s wrong with the word? The correct term is laying out, although I have to concede that the term layouting is now popularly used, and that in due time it will find its way in the English dictionary.

On a related note, you cannot say that a page has been layouted, because the correct term is laid out; in the same way that a person who gets fired is not layoffed but laid off.

That’s all for now. Thank you for reading!

My decision to start taking pictures around the mall using my camera phone (I know: It’s only a Nokia 6070, but it gets the job done!) was prompted by this sign I saw after buying a pineapple shake. I don’t mind adding P10 for ice cream, but what will I get for an additional P7?

Yes, my plan for this installment of funny signs is a product of the flan’s misspelling.

Roaming around the mall while drinking my pineapple shake, the sign below reminds me of my previous post on “Snickers,” “Chicken Fingers” and “Pocari Sweat.” Please note that what’s being sold are bubble gums.

Do you honestly think that children would buy a gum with this brand if they knew what a hockey puck is? If I were to give this to my four-year old English-speaking niece, she would most likely ask me, “Uncle, what the puck is this?”

The typographical error in the next sign is not so obvious but if you read my previous post on the eight-digit electronic calculator, you would immediately know what’s wrong.

Yes, It’s wrong to use a dash in this case as the two words are not being used as an adjective. The product being sold promises that you’ll be alluring for one day, which means a 24-hour (or one-day) state of attractiveness.

If this is a sign that has an unnecessary character, our next funny sign has an excess character, or a letter to be more precise. Care to guess what letter it is?

If your answer is the letter “e,” then you’re correct. This is a common mistake in spelling out the word “tarp.”

Kindly note, however, that the words “adrenalin” and “adrenaline” are both correct. You have the option to choose one or the other but you need to be consistent, of course, if you were to use the word “adrenalin/adrenaline” in your written output more than once.

Our next sign is also a case of an excess character, this time involving the letter “s.”

You may think it’s just a joke if you were to tell me that the word should have been “tuffs.” There is such a word, mind you. Tuff refers to a rock formed by the consolidation of volcanic ash. From what I know, tuff is not a collective noun so “tuffs” could be used to refer to several rocks of this kind.

The word “stuff,” however, is a collective noun so it is wrong to add the letter “s” after it to refer to its plural form. This rule may remind you of my previous post on the use of the word “gear.”

The sign below, on the other hand, confuses me as to what’s being sold.

Does this refer to bags you can use if you were to go on a shopping spree? Or does this sign refer to bags that are currently on sale? Since it’s apparently the latter, the sign should read: “Bags on sale.” (I assume, of course, that you are not putting on sale only one bag, but several.

Let me end this installment with a joke which I hope you’ll find funny.

There are several innovations being done by capitalists to meet and create demand for products. In the case of mobile phones, for example, there are so many add-on features that result in the convergence of telephony with other aspects of information technology, making them practically part of our lives. Some people would even quip that mobile phones are already part of their anatomy (not literally, I hope).

I know that I promised you a joke, so here it is: Have slippers finally evolved into something that’s part of our human body? Look at the sign below:

I know there are slippers for boys and girls, as well as men and women. I didn’t know that even women who are experiencing that time of the month should wear “mens” slippers.

Or maybe I’m mistaken in my interpretation. The slippers are the ones menstruating!

See what a lacking apostrophe can do to my imagination, as well as yours? Thanks for reading!

Arriving earlier than expected at a bus station in Cubao yesterday (April 10), a relative who was scheduled to take the night trip to Bicol went with me to a popular mall. But before going there, I can’t help but take a picture of a sign hanging on the door of a bus company.

The spelling of Naga, Ligao, Daraga and Tabaco (all of them in Bicol) is correct. What about the remaining one? The correct spelling should be Legazpi. I have to concede, however, that there are those who are wont to replace the “z” with an “s” in referring to this city, also in Bicol. Please note that this is wrong.

Inside a popular mall in Cubao, I noticed this summer promo at a retail outlet.

That the word “summer” was capitalized below is very minor. What proves to be unacceptable in English grammar is putting the letter “s” after the word “gear” which, in this particular case, is used as a collective noun.

The word “gears,” however, can be used when referring to the mechanism used to transmit and control motion from an engine. For example, our Honda Wave 125 has four gears. Our old-model Suzuki Vitara has automatic transmission with Park, Reverse, Neutral, Drive, 2 (second) and Low gears. (Hope you’re not thinking that I’m just using this post to link to my motorcycling and driving-related posts. Then again, I can’t blame you if you think that way.)

As regards our Vitara, I waited for my wife to arrive to consult her on the possibility of buying a cover for it. Even if expensive, we decided to buy one. When we arrived at our house, we were surprised by what we read on the label. Aside from the Vitara, other vehicles can use the cover, apparently even a misspelled one.

I am well aware that the series model of vehicles go by different names. What is known as Vitara in the Philippines, for example, is called Sidekick and Escudo in others. But the make (in this case Suzuki) never changes.

The same case holds for the Toyota. The current dry spell in the Philippines shouldn’t prompt us to rename it to Toyuta or Tuyota (tuyot, ah!). (For those who don’t know Filipino and don’t get the joke, tuyot means dry.)

Our last funny sign (definitely not from Cubao) was emailed by a former student, Julie Aurelio, who now works for one of the country’s leading broadsheets. She said that this was just forwarded to her by a reporter from another broadsheet, so I do not know who took this picture.

In any case, I think my earlier promise of ending with glaring errors has been fulfilled by this. Read it and try not to weep!

That’s all for now. Thank you for reading!

Let’s start from a province that’s about an hour’s drive away from our house in Marikina. I was invited to conduct a writing workshop for high school campus journalists, and the activity was held at a recently opened resort.

My wife and I noticed this sign inside our room.

Do you know what’s wrong? Not yet? Let’s focus on the last two paragraphs.

Do as you would be done by. That’s obviously an awkward sentence construction, and I won’t even try to interpret it.

Please tell me: How does one go about “scattering sunshine?” And if you think for others, does this mean that the others won’t think at all? That’s something to think about. (Talk about an indirect crash course in prepositions!)

Anyway, my wife and I took the night trip to Bicol immediately after the workshop I conducted. While passing by city hall, I noticed this sign that proudly and redundantly announces the city’s anniversary.

You don’t need to put the word “year” if you’re referring to an anniversary. The latter already means annual celebration.

That’s all for now. Thank you for reading!

Incidentally, I will be posting some funny signs from recent out-of-town trips tomorrow. For now, please enjoy this video courtesy of Yahoo!

Jamie Alarcon, a former student of mine, sent me this picture taken inside a popular supermarket along Chino Roces.

Apparently, foreign industrialists don’t make cheese the way they used to! Does the same go for “that thing you use to tie your hair?” Check out the picture below.

In case you don’t know, elastics are normally made of latex and are used in braces. I have yet to meet a person who has hair in his mouth!

Now, get ready for a triple rhyme: Elastic band, on the other hand, means rubber band. The product being sold resembles the latter. As I said, it’s that thing you use to…you know what I mean.

After looking at another product below, I can’t help but ask: Is there such a thing as an “official” or “professional” pair of scissors?

Please keep in mind that when you write, you have to think in terms of counter-examples, especially in using adjectives and adverbs.

The problem with this sign is not the word but a misplaced punctuation mark.

If the intention were to state that the calculator has eight digits, then there’s no need for a dash. But if the phrase “eight digits” were used as an adjective, the label should read “8-digit electronic calculator.”

I’m sure you can easily detect what’s wrong with this sign.

By the way, if you want to read more grammatically challenged toys, feel free to read my previous post in January 2008.

Now that we have an idea of what not to buy, let me ask you: Would you be willing to buy from retail outlets that have these notices?

The first is a case of too many punctuation marks, and the second is a case of…where do I start? Just for the record, I was not the one who put editing marks on the second sign.

Anyway, after all those buying and selling, let’s now proceed to eating!

When my wife and I went to Boracay in early February, we can’t help but take this picture.

We chose not to eat at that restaurant. Much as the “eat all you can” promotion is tempting, we do not know who or what is fresh: Is it the cook or the ones being cooked?

And since you’ve been patient enough to read several funny signs I’ve posted, I will give you a rare opportunity to get a free copy of the February 2008 issue (Volume 5, Number 1) of Plaridel: A Journal of Philippine Communication, Media, and Society. You should know that as faculty member and director of the Office of Research and Publication (ORP) of the University of the Philippines College of Mass Communication (UP CMC), I am entitled to several copies of the journal. What I’ll give you, if ever, is one of my free copies. Anyway, there are only two simple rules. First, analyze the picture below and tell me what’s wrong with the use of one word. Second, post a comment here, identifying what you think is the misused word and why this is so. The first one to post the correct answer gets the free copy of the Plaridel journal.

• Update (March 27, 1:50 pm): An hour into the contest and I already have a winner. Read the comments for details.

Are you ready? Here’s the picture I took at a restaurant inside Blue Wave (Marquinton) in Marikina City.

Thank you for reading. Cheers!

While there’s nothing ungrammatical about this installment of funny signs, sometimes it makes you wonder what’s on the mind of those who thought about these brand names which my wife and I found while buying food at a popular supermarket.

I can understand that chocolates can be named Kisses or Hugs, as these are marketed as being synonymous with love and care. But don’t you wonder why this is the name of a popular chocolate?

You and I can more or less understand if a brand of chocolate has to do with happiness or togetherness. But I’m sure you know that there is a difference between a smile and a laughter, and a laughter and a snicker. (The latter, just so we’re clear, is a disrespectful laugh.)

Maybe it’s just me, but I won’t give this brand of chocolate to my wife. She might think that I was snickering when I bought it.

This next brand of chocolate is not as disrespectful as it is “demonic.” Okay, maybe it’s just me again.

For some strange reason, the first thing that came to mind after reading the brand name is demonyito (little demon). Did you have this impression?

Since I seldom eat chocolates, you should know that I haven’t tasted it yet. For all we know, there could be something “devilish” or “sinful” in the taste, very much like the Devil’s Food Cake.

Even if this particular health drink has been widely publicized. I still can’t understand why it should be named after a gland secretion. Is there something salty about this drink?

A quick research shows that this is a popular health drink in Japan. According to its official website, it is “a mild tasting, refreshing drink which replenishes body fluids lost through perspiration.” While it’s commendable for the company to make the product available to health conscious Filipinos, shouldn’t we rethink the name? Again, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t like the idea of drinking something that’s named sweat!

For our last funny brand name, let us review the parts of the chicken that we eat. If memory serves, these are mainly the thigh, leg, breast, rib, wing, neck and feet. Is the sign below a case against genetically modified organisms (GMOs)?

From what I know, chickens have wings and feet, not fingers. While the chicken pieces are shaped like (human) fingers, it looks awkward if they were packaged as “chicken fingers.”

In relation to this, you may ask, “Do chickens have nuggets?” Of course, you already know the answer. Thank you for reading!

I won’t discuss the features of this particular home to several species of butterflies lest I spoil your planned visit there. Besides, as the title suggests, the reason for this post has more to do with sex and grammar.

Huh? What am I writing about? Anyway, before I give you the answer, I’d like to show you what you can see should you decide to go to the World of Butterflies.

Isn’t that beautiful? Of course, you may answer with a counter-question, “Isn’t that obvious?”

Anyway, let’s cut right to the chase and show you this funny sign that has to do with sex and grammar.

Had the sign been properly edited, it would have read:

MATING CAGES

An enclosed area where mating of butterflies, which could last up to 24 hours, takes place.

I still can’t get over the fact that the copulation period for butterflies lasts up to 24 hours or one full day. This situation more than makes up for their very short life span, don’t you think?

That’s all for now. Thank you for reading!