Taken inside the airport in Manila (where we took the flight to Cagayan de Oro City), this sign really made my wife and I smile. And the airline that advertised this did not have to go the extra mile.

Walking around the City of Golden Friendship, we noticed a sign badly in need of a hyphen.

And when we observed the signs inside the hotel where we checked in, we noticed the same problem.

Of course, the absence of a hyphen is minor compared to a sign, the name of an organization no less, that is “double-sexist” even if it may not be the intention of its members.

Let’s take a closer look.

This leads you to ask if women are allowed to become members of a brotherhood. What’s wrong with the use of the word businessmen? In my opinion, the word industrialist is more gender-neutral.

At this point, we come to a close, albeit temporarily. And by this time, you should know what’s wrong with our last sign.

This installment, however, does not really come to a close as I promise to present more funny signs from Cagayan de Oro City next week. Thank you for reading!

This sign in front of the Bahay ng Alumni (loose translation: House of Alumni) in the University of the Philippines (UP) in Diliman leads me to one conclusion.

At UP, we always go Left! We don’t like going Right.

I know, it’s not really funny. But I’m sure you’ll get a chuckle or two after buying this doll.

Yes, these are changing times indeed. The sign below shows that you can mix numbers and letters and come up with a sign, just 4 U!

I hope I’m not just speaking for myself when I say that there is something wrong with a sign that sells pasta and…something!

As regards our next sign, there’s nothing ungrammatical about it. It’s just that the bathroom product has an interesting name.

I can only hope that the person who uses this does not end up looking like a couch potato!

Anyway, writing about couches reminds me of massage tables. In the Philippines, there are massage parlors that offer services beyond giving a massage. I guess this explains the defensive nature of this sign.

Let’s take a closer look at the message.

No need to explain. Just read between the lines!

Our next sign is taken from a tarpaulin which lists some signs of autism. Notice the error in diction?

Yes, the word “interacting” or “playing” should be used instead of “mixing.”

For our last sign, allow me to give another crash course in diction.

The word “persons” is a legal concept and refers to those who are natural (like you and me), juridical (like corporations) or both. In other words, persons could be living or non-living. What is a more accurate word to refer to those who are differently abled? People, of course.

More funny signs (and a few more English lessons) next week. Thank you for reading!

To funny sign makers I ask (with apologies to Elizabeth Barrett Browning): How do I hate thee? Let me italicize the ways…

The main ingredient of buko pie is buko (coconut). For apple pie, it’s apple. Very obvious, right? So what do you make of this pie?

Unlike our previous sign, I find something funny not with the words but with the graphics.

No chuckles yet? Let’s take a closer look at the gent and lady. Yes, they can’t hold it any longer!

Let’s go back to words now. You won’t find this funny if your brain is not stuffed with English knowledge.

What about this one? Do you see the misspelling?

For our next sign, laughter is reserved only for the Grammar Nazi like me.

Allow me to end this installment of funny signs not with a bang but with a whimper. I still can’t understand why I encounter grammar mistakes like this every day.

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

If you can identify non-sequitur argument, you would know what’s wrong with this sign a mile away (or a few feet away, depending on your eyesight).

This sign reminds me of an old Filipino joke “Huwag maingay. May naglalaba (Be quiet. Someone’s doing the laundry).” Indeed, one doesn’t follow the other.

There’s nothing wrong with the sign beside it, but don’t you think this is better placed in Congress?

The loose English translation of this sign is “garbage not allowed here.” Why Congress, you ask? Garbage could mean anything (and anybody)!

If the term’s meaning could mean something else, does the same case apply to the word “bottomless”?

In English, the sign reads: “Let’s make our happiness bottomless.” This is an advertisement for a popular iced tea in the Philippines. In Filipino English, the word “bottomless” is synonymous with “unlimited.” A bottomless drink offered in a Filipino restaurant, therefore, means that you can get a refill as many times as your bladder allows. A Filipino may not find the sign above funny, but I’m sure non-Filipinos will find it a bit off, if not amusing. Well, who can blame them?

I’m not sure if many Filipinos know the shortened terms for manicure and pedicure. If they don’t, then this sign could be somewhat funny.

If you’re familiar with the Filipino language, you would know that the word “mani” means peanuts in English. A colloquial, adult-oriented meaning of “mani” is female genitalia. So if you’re green-minded (not of the environmental kind), you would think of something else after reading a sign that sells a service called “mani.”

As regards our next sign, notice that there are three photographed items above.

What does the sign say? Let’s take a closer look.

The loose English translation of this is “Appliance? It’s simple.” This is an advertisement for a bank loan. If you want to be consistent, the word “appliances” should have been used. This is just my opinion, of course, as the sign-maker could argue that he or she refers to an appliance loan.

But whichever way you look at our next sign, this is absolutely wrong and it’s not just a matter of opinion.

As I noted in a previous post, the correct term is “every day.”

For our last sign, the mistake is not easily noticeable. On the surface, one may even credit the sign-maker for being creative.

As you know, a buffet is a system of providing meals where the guests serve themselves. Buffet could also refer to a piece of furniture that has shelves and drawers, normally located at a dining room. The use of the word “buffet” in the context of fashion may be creative, but is there something new to what is being advertised? Isn’t it a given that you have to try on the clothes you want to buy to make sure that they properly fit? What’s the use of advertising “fit all you can” when in fact you’re supposed to be doing it?

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

I wondered aloud as I wandered around: What makes my funny signs project sustainable?

The answer turns out to be simple: The Philippines really has a lot of them! While at a popular mall in Marikina, two things came to mind when I saw this sign.

First, “text lingo” is now beyond SMS and MMS; it can now be seen in the so-called old media, in this case the printed sign.

What’s the second thing? Filipinos can be very creative in marketing their business. Who would have thought that the name of a money changer could be named after a plant that remains green throughout the year? Of course, the word “evergreen” is obviously a creative reference to the almighty, ubiquitous US dollar which is also called the greenback.

So off I went to Evergreen. And then I noticed something wrong. Guess what?

Let’s take a closer look at the problematic phrasing.

Currencies, as we all know, are usually composed of bills and coins. If what Evergreen accepts are foreign currencies and old Philippine coins, then it has to be made clear. The same is true if it accepts all kinds of foreign currencies, including coins (e.g., dollar cents).

For our next funny sign, I have nothing but admiration for the owner of this laundry service. What do you call it again?

As regards the next one, I’m not sure if the owner was drunk when he or she thought of this brand name.

The sign below may lead you to quip: “Surely you can’t be serious!”

I hope the joke won’t be on the poor customer — He or she pawns a 14-karat ring and gets it back after two weeks, 13 karats less. But I’m sure that’s not the intended message of Karat One.

For our last sign, allow me to be a bit political. The country’s unpopular ex-President, Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, turns out to be very much with us. And it’s not just because she decided to run for Congress in the last election and eventually landed a seat in the House of Representatives. When you go inside a supermarket, you’ll see her initials in the rice section.

Yes, GMA rice can be relatively cheap compared to other brands, which is ironic since the former President’s wealth is reportedly unexplainable.

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

There’s an old saying: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. How does this relate to our first funny sign?

Obviously, we now have a new saying: Keep the door close, and the windows closer. If it’s any consolation, the person who wrote the sign is respectful as he or she used the word “please.”

If you find this mistake forgivable, you wouldn’t find anything wrong with our next sign, right?

On one hand, it’s good to know that priority service is being given to pregnant women…and only ONE senior citizen!

For this popular motorcycle sales and service center, there is clearly a missing “s” somewhere in the three words that begin with the same letter.

Let’s take a closer look to be sure.

You don’t need to be an expert mechanic to know that a motorcycle would sometimes need several spare parts. I should know. My wife and I own a Honda!

Anyway, enough of the missing characters. Let’s now analyze the case of a missing space. I just can’t help but “freeze” the TV screen when I saw this promotion of a popular series imported from the U.S.

Can’t see what’s wrong? Allow me to zoom in for you.

Yes, the correct term is “every day.” I already explained in a previous post the difference between “every day” and “everyday.”

Now, if what we saw on television is a curious case of a missing space, would you like to see the baffling case of a missing driveway?

What’s wrong with this sign? You may only know if we zoom out this time.

Clearly, a driveway is defined as a road leading to a house. Do you see any? The house is clearly along a road! How can a person prohibit parking on a driveway when there is clearly none? In this particular case, a simple “No parking” sign will do.

Do you think these mistakes are forgivable? Feel free to comment.

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

What’s the effect of dropping a character to emphasize the X’s?

Not bad, right? The desired effect is there as the public is obviously made aware of the intentional misspelling.

But what happens if a popular mall in the Philippines boasts of what you can xperience when you xplore the area to check out an xhibit? Will you xpress your xcitement and xihilaration?

Maybe it’s just me, but people may get the impression that the first characters have been blown away by the typhoons past.

For our next sign, pay close attention to the honest mistake.

Even if you already know what’s wrong with this sign, let’s take a closer look just to be sure.

There’s a lesson to be learned here: Don’t assure safety if you can’t assume responsibility.

Before we end, let me ask you: For what do you use this straw?

The sign above is obviously correct. But if it is a straw for drinking, the product below is a straw for…

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

I should start with an apology for being 24 hours late in uploading this installment of funny signs. As you may already know by now, a typhoon hit the Philippines last Tuesday (July 13) resulting in a brownout late that night that hit much of Luzon (one of three island groups in the country, the other two being Visayas and Mindanao).

Marikina City (where my wife and I live) was also hit hard by the typhoon even if Metro Manila was only under Signal Number 1. There were reports of trees, billboards and signs falling due to the strong wind.

Obviously, the wind was not strong enough to add another “s” to this sign.

The province of Quezon was also affected by the typhoon. I wonder if this sign is still standing. Notice what’s wrong with it?

Let’s talk a closer look.

Since this bank is apparently service-oriented, I would like to give this free editorial advice: Please use “microfinance-oriented” instead.

This next sign is a case of “inappropriate abbreviation,” if you get what I mean.

It’s better to just spell out “Pls” because there’s enough space for three more characters in the first line anyway.

For our next sign, we have a case of a “misused hyphen,” and this time you know what I mean.

By this time, you should know the case of a “missing space.”

What about awkward diction? Can you see the wrong word used in the sign below?

Strictly speaking, the word “finds” refers to “a discovery, esp. a valuable or gratifying one.” Not surprisingly, the word is normally used for items found during the digging of trenches or from field-walking, as in the case of an archeological discovery. In the context of fashion, I’m not sure if there’s something to be discovered as most of the fashion-related items are advertised.

When I took a light rail transit (LRT) train to go to a meeting in Makati last July 5, I saw this sign. Did the typhoon blow this away? I hope so.

There’s nothing grammatically wrong with it, but why did the LRT management post this very obvious sign? Spitting in a public place is obviously a sign of bad manners and Filipinos do not need to be reminded of that. If the LRT managers want, they could come up with a rule imposing fines on those caught spitting and remind passengers of that through a sign. But if they prefer to have signs like “No spitting,” they mind as well write the “apparently obvious” (what redundancy!) at LRT stations also:

• Trains don’t arrive on time. Be patient.
• Don’t use your credit card as a train ticket
• Use only Philippine currency
• Speak only in English or Filipino

I also saw this sign at an LRT station.

Loose translation? “Littering is prohibited. Put in the garbage can.” This is a case of awkward sentence construction in Filipino. To remove the awkwardness and provide some politeness, it should read: “Pakilagay sa basurahan ang inyong basura.” Its loose translation is “Please put in the garbage can your garbage.”

For our next sign, we obviously don’t need any translation. Then again, you may want to ask…

…what is the nature of our concern? By the way, is this sign addressed to all passengers or just the janitors?

For our last sign, I am happy to tell you that there are efforts by a few establishments to correct any misspelling.

Notice the deleted “d” at the end? I thank my sister-in-law Francia for this picture, even if she took it at the time when the sign has been corrected.

More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

Detecting a misspelling is easy.

Knowing when to use an adverb is harder.

Clearly, something is out of service temporarily.

For our next sign, there’s actually nothing wrong though the phrasing is somewhat awkward, even this is already widely accepted.

The word “times” refers to a more or less definite period of time now or previously present. If you want to use it in a sentence, you may refer to Charles Dickens: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” If you want to be more precise in announcing what time your business opens and closes, just use the standard: “Business Hours”

As regards our next sign, please read the sign’s first three lines.

Now let’s focus on the problematic phrase.

“First and foremost” is redundant because both mean the same thing. If you want to use just one word to substitute for this redundant phrase, you could use “primarily” or “mainly.” Needless to say, “first and foremost” should be avoided, along with other redundant phrases like “cease and desist” and “part and parcel.”

But the focus of this “funny signs” installment is the use of prepositions. Now that you have a clue, would you know what’s wrong with our next sign?

Let’s take a closer look if you still can’t find the mistake.

The establishment being advertised is located on the ground floor, in the same way that a house is located on a particular street. The floor of a building has many establishments, so the preposition at cannot be used due to the lack of a more precise location.

By this time, you should know what’s wrong with the next sign, taken inside a popular mall in Quezon City.

For our next sign, there’s nothing wrong with the preposition. It’s the pronoun that’s problematic.

Again, let’s take a closer look at the sign.

Still can’t find the error? Let’s zoom in once more.

Since the word “gifts” is used, the pronoun should be “them,” not “it” as written. Yes, knowing the proper pronoun is as hard as determining the right preposition.

Anyway, grammar lessons are over. More funny signs next week. Thank you for reading!

Benigno Simeon Aquino III takes over as president of the Philippines today (June 30). As expected, Filipinos have high expectations that change would finally take place.

To send a clear message that he is different from his predecessor Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo whose administration was tainted with numerous scandals and controversies, his media handlers this early decided to endear him to the public by promoting the moniker P.Noy. The latter is short for President Noynoy (Aquino’s nickname) and it could also be interpreted as a pun for “Pinoy” which is slang for male Filipino citizen (a female one is referred to as “Pinay”).

It remains to be seen whether the message of hope will be effectively conveyed to the people. At this point, one can only wish that Aquino’s message won’t be repetitive.

You’re not just stating the obvious if you end up repeating what you said. You might end up being defensive.

Then again, the message should be clear and clean. Aquino’s message could be just like a massage.

Taken somewhere in Malate, Manila (parts of which became notorious as a “red light” district in the past), the business owner saw the need to tell prospective clients that only a massage is given, nothing more (if you get what I mean).

Directness is indeed important, aside from good grammar. That the president of De La Salle University (DLSU), one of the top schools in the country, has been appointed secretary of the Department of Education gives some hope that, at the very least, the signs at the DepEnd would be more grammatical.

I took the picture below at La Salle Green Hills last June 10 when I gave a journalism seminar to selected teachers and administrative staff.

Except for the need to capitalize the letter O in “only,” I cannot find anything wrong with the sign which sends clearly the intended message during the strong typhoon which hit the Philippines in 2009.

Our other sign below, taken in a popular resort in Palawan, also sends a strong message even if it’s inverted.

Yes, people should learn how to read upside down.

Going back to Aquino’s message of hope, I think his anti-corruption campaign should be direct. People should not be made to read between the lines.

Analyze this sign I took at a university in Isabela where I conducted a summer workshop for its teachers last May 28.

What’s that again? Do you understand the call to action?

Fix the fixers? From what I know, you only fix equipment that are broken. It’s awkward to say that you want to fix a person. By the way, you should also know that another definition of fix is to “get even.” Is this what we want to do with fixers?

If you want to maintain the alliteration in the sign, the message should read: “Fight the fixers.”

Or if you want your message to somewhat rhyme, you might consider this: “Nix the fixers.” Then again, the word “nix” which means reject may be a bit hard to understand.

One could learn a thing or two about the directness of messages of traffic signs at the University of the Philippines (UP) where I currently teach. Of course, there are some weaknesses.

As regards the sign above, the phrase “construction work” would suffice so we could drop the “s” already. My preference, however, is to change the phrase to “ongoing construction.”

Of course, the message could be more effective if a specific timeframe were included. Up to when is the particular gate closed? The only thing the sign says is that the gate has been closed since June 10.

But even if specific times are indicated in the sign, one should not confuse motorists because of the wrong font size.

It would be better to make the font for “OPEN” smaller so that it doesn’t compete with the “NO ENTRY” warning. Besides, the times below has a smaller font and it’s not as if a motorist can read them from afar.

When I was in Indonesia, I noticed this sign at the departure area of the airport. Do you notice what’s wrong with this?

There’s nothing ungrammatical here, but the second sentence is unnecessary because it’s already stating the obvious. The green-minded would even think of other things that a passenger should “use” before boarding the plane.

In my last travel to Vietnam in 2008, I noticed this sign inside the store.

I wonder why the letter A is capitalized while the letter P is not. To the credit of the sign-maker, at least the word “stock” is used as a collective noun.

I don’t think the Vietnamese manufacturer should be blamed for the brand of cigarette it sells.

For those who don’t understand the Filipino language, “bastos” means indecent or uncouth. I therefore doubt if President Aquino would smoke this kind of cigarette.

Going back to the moniker P.Noy, the name really makes a difference promoting a good image. In this respect, the Aquino administration is on the right track.

I can’t say the same though for a community group that meant well in the past to organize a dance club. What’s the name of the group?

Yes, you’re cursed if you have a name that means “idiot.”

I guess that’s one of the many challenges of the Aquino administration: How do you avoid people from calling the President names like Abnoynoy (i.e., Abnoy is Filipino slang for abnormal). Of course, the practical answer there is to do well and fulfill the promise of meaningful change in the next six years.

That’s all for now. More funny signs next week!