Dearest Iba,
We owe you an explanation and the world, a warning.
At a time when babies are given “kilometric names” (sometimes not just one name but two or three), you tend to stand out because yours only has three letters. Why did we decide on such a very short name?
Personally, we want you to be different. Politically, we want you to make a difference.
In the Filipino language, the word “iba” could mean “different” (Tagalog adjective) or “join” (Bicol verb). Depending on usage, it could also mean “others.” Your name’s subtext should be clear by now: We hope that you will make a difference by joining others.
As our daughter, we hold you in such high regard. It is a happy coincidence that Iba happens to be a Quranic name for a woman who is of “high status, exalted, sublime and superb.” (quranicnames.com/iba)
Don’t mind the fact that “iba” also refers to a sour fruit popularly called kamias. Such nuances are better off ignored by a sweet person like you. Just keep in mind that your name is worth remembering simply because it is “iba.”
Ah, IBA! As early as now, please note that your initials function as a recursive acronym. Simply put, it’s an acronym that stands for itself, just like GNU (GNU’s not Unix). The metaphor is undeniable: We want you to fend for yourself though we hope that you will take a stand not for personal gain. In due time, you will learn to stand for the acceptable and stand against the unacceptable. You will learn the value of independence. You will have a mindset that is as progressive as your name.
We will teach you the value of discipline along the lines not of blind obedience but of critical compliance. We will increase your knowledge not just in theory but also in practice. We will teach you not just to read but also to understand, not just to hear but also to listen, not just to look but also to see. These and more we promise you!
Iba, remember that society needs a lot of changing (just like your diapers). The sleepless nights you cause us (not that we’re complaining) are the same sleepless nights you will have as you think about your future and that of society. But just like us working together to raise you, we expect you to help raise awareness and join the people who share the same goals.
Yes, you need to be one with the others so that you could become many. Pardon the wordplay, but it is obvious that you, Iba, should join the “iba pa.” There is indeed a valid explanation for your name and the not-so-hidden meanings should not be lost as your personal and political struggles become literal and real.
Let this be a warning to the cruel world that our child stands to inherit. The struggle for meaningful change has strengthened with the addition of one whose name is “iba” because that is how she deserves to be called.
For now, we will share your photographs (especially of your face) only to the closest of relatives and friends and request them to help us shield you from stalkers and trolls as you enter your formative years. In the age of social media, we want to give you the option by the time you get older as regards re-introducing yourself to the world, pictures and all, clenched fist and what-have-you.
Pardon the mush, but we have to end this letter by telling the whole world (its cruelty notwithstanding) how much we love you, Iba Balean Arao. We promise to nurture you in such a way that you will grow up to be better than the two of us combined.
Your proud parents,
Joy and Danny
21 September 2015 | Manila
Nota Bene:
In 2008, Danilo A. Arao also wrote a column article in Filipino titled “Pangako sa aming magiging anak” (Promise to our future child) which is included in his book Kon(tra)teksto: Pag-uungkat, Pag-uulat at Pagmumulat (DLSU Publishing House, 2012). This article may be retrieved from https://risingsun.dannyarao.com/2008/05/02/pangako-sa-aming-magiging-anak/.