While we’re aware that the Philippines is an English-speaking country, there are times when we wish for some signs to be just written in Filipino. Looking at the instruction on a refrigerator that’s being sold at a popular mall in Marikina, I hoped that a genie would appear to grant this wish.

While we do understand the instruction, wouldn’t it be better for it to be grammatical? It’s not enough to say that the message is clear and that grammar is secondary; repetition of a grammatical mistake would eventually lead to it being “acceptable” in the future. I’m sure we don’t want to be called an “ungrammatical” nation, right?

Anyway, this particular sign is very, very grammatical, but notice the negative effect of using a colloquial term to economize on words.

Yes, “phin” is short for “dolphin.” But the use of the word is awkward not only because of the sign’s overall formal tone: It’s also possible for the word to be perceived as a misspelled “fin,” the organ of fishes and other aquatic animals used for locomotion and balance. Marketing tip: If the resort really has dolphins, it would be better for the owners to categorically say so. This way, they can attract more customers, my wife and I included.

Speaking of my wife, we chanced upon an old building that is very, very nicely named while in Bicol last December 23.

I know. It’s not that funny. But try to analyze the name of the straightening salon on the building’s ground floor.

What does this mean? You’ll become “straight” if you go there! Of course, I can also argue that the salon isn’t crooked because it is… Oh well, you get the point!

But what about this sign? Do you get it? Is this a case of a please too many?

Wow, “please” was used not just once, but thrice! Are doctors in Bicol so busy and so hard to please? Should I use a sign like this in asking the public to attend our college’s colloquia? “Please just come and stay, if only for my closing remarks!”

Of course, we have to end with something grammatically challenged. At a mall near our house in Marikina, we saw a laundry shop that accepts the washing of “stuff toys” and “comporters.” Huh?

As you know, there are toys stuffed with cotton or other stuff. A comforter, on the other hand, is a thick, heavy quilt which can be (obviously!) washed. To “comport,” after all, means to behave. Can one’s behavior be washed in a laundry shop?

That’s all for now. Hope those responsible for these signs will seek comfort from the fact that their works have already gained some degree of popularity (or notoriety, depending on how you see it).