N.B. – This was published in Asian Correspondent (May 19, 3:30 p.m.) where I write a column (Philippine Fantasy).

When I stayed in South Korea for one year, I entertained myself by taking pictures of what I think are funny signs. What can you expect from a clueless foreigner anyway who comes from a Third World country?

Take it from me: If you can’t speak Hangul, it’s so easy for you to be lost in the crowd, and to become an animal in the wild. What?

Oh, it’s found, not fauna. Now you know what happens if someone messes with the “d”!

There’s no debate that Korea is a developed country. It even has the most state-of-the-art facilities. Unlike in the Philippines, buses and trains arrive on time and almost all elevators are working. Then again…

Why are the elevators disabled permanently? Wait a minute. Even the parking lots aren’t working!

But after going to the toilet and seeing the sign below, you’ll find out that there are elevators, parking lots and toilets for the disabled, or to use a more politically correct term, the “differently-abled” people. See how sensitive Koreans are to the needs of its various citizens?

It’s not just the use of words that are confusing for foreigners in Korea. Even the simple writing of the time could be disorienting if you don’t understand the language and culture.

From my limited knowledge of Hangul, I know that the Korean word above the time reads “lunch time.” Notice that the sign uses semi-colons instead of colons in separating the hours and minutes, and that the “am” and “pm” are written before the time, instead of after.

By the way, there’s nothing funny about the amount of 3,000 Korean Won. Believe me, that meal is a bargain!

Okay. If that meal is cheap, how much does it cost to correct the spelling of this sign?

That’s an “e” less and one “s” too many! I know, I should have more finesse in expressing myself. But can you blame me if I become tactless in asking a Korean vendor why it takes too long to order a sandwich?

I am willing to pay today, madam. Ooops. It’s just the name of the stall.

Yes, the sandwich was good. But right now, I want a steak!

Yes, signs like these make me want to take out my pen and edit the text. How about you? Do you wanna?

Anyway, I think I’m already full from eating sandwiches and steaks. What will I drink?

Not too much beer, definitely! I can’t imagine what would happen to me if I ordered a keg!

Then again, too much eating and drinking could result in an upset stomach.

As expected, you shouldn’t worry too much. Korea has the most modern health care facilities. Its doctors are among the best in Asia.

And no matter what the sign below says, you should expect to be attended by a human doctor…

…because the last time I checked, no ducks are allowed to practice medicine in Korea.

More funny signs to follow next Wednesday. Thanks for reading!